No, my dilemma is what to do with my name. Contrary to popular belief, I'm a traditional soul, and I'm taking on my partner's name. The truth is, I like the idea of us being our own little team. I'm sad at the thought of not having my family name anymore, it's been a part of who I am for the last 27 years and I see taking his name as kind of breaking away from them. I'll still obviously be a member of my family, but it's my way of showing the world that my partner and I are a family now as well.
The question then, is this. What do I do in the professional sense? I hope to be running my own business someday, and that business is in its very infancy right now. Thankfully, I haven't actually relied on my surname for my business as many people in jewellery do. I have a friend who has been an artist for the last 30 years and all her work has been known by her maiden name, yet uses her married name for her jewellery business which she says she regrets slightly. I'm fairly certain this is because her maiden name is quite unusual - I wouldn't have that issue, my maiden name is fairly common, and my married name is probably the most popular surname after "Smith". Not relying on it before now means I won't face the issue of losing people who have followed me and my work for a long time when I suddenly drop off the face of the earth as Person X and re-emerge as Person Y and have to build up that following again.
In reality, no-one other than me, and people who know me, will even know which is my maiden and which is my married name, so I don't suppose it really matters, but I do wonder, do I really want my business to be tied to my marriage? Or do I want something that's just me and mine? In the financial world, if you are married, you're seen as more trustworthy, more mature and stable. These are things I want for my business, but should I not be allowed to be seen as these things on my own? In a practical sense, being married will probably be quite helpful in terms of financial help for start-up costs etc from lenders, but in reality, my husband-to-be would have absolutely nothing to do with my decision making, except for his opinion every now and again - which in true wifely fashion, I shall completely ignore.
Then there is the question that no-one who is getting married wants to think about - what if it doesn't work out? It's pretty much not an option for me, but sadly divorce is now a huge part of getting married. Lots of couples don't make it through the "until death do we part" section of the vows. It's more like "until we can't stand to breathe the same air anymore". So, that being said, if you've chosen your married name for your business, what happens then? Suddenly you're back to being Person X again when you've built up a following as Person Y. Not to mention the awkward questions. How many people still call Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, Cheryl Cole? Case and point.
I suppose it's just a question of identity. My name is Nikki. I'm a businesswoman and a wife (almost!). I'm also a lot of other things. Which of those things do I take into my professional identity and which things do I keep personal? Maybe I'll just be Nikki. Just Nikki. Like Madonna, or Cher. Then again, neither of them were very good at marriage, so maybe not the people to look up to. Looks like I'll need to find some new role models. Any suggestions?
